She likes sneaking into the recliner, barking at the Christmas tree (that we really need to take down), jumping onto the sofa (and everything else) and trying to get the kitties to play with her.
If we take her to the dog park, she'll find the biggest dog there and hump him until he falls over. If we go to Petsmart, she knows where to go to get treats and actually has a fan club there. I get yelled at if I go to Petsmart without her. At my In-Laws, she tries to dominate the house (and their chocolate lab) by peeing on their carpet (which goes over so well, let me tell you). Oh yeah, and if we go out anywhere, she prances on her tiptoes like a show pony, instead of running all over the place like a bat out of hell.
She's eaten countless amounts of toys (stuffed ones with squeakers, nylabones, etc.) and now only has one toy left which has survived several months of abuse, thankfully. She's eaten two leashes (we have a chain one now), two harnesses, several dog beds, shoes, tissues and tried to eat my gearshift.
Needless to say, a lot of my time going "Ah! No!", "Drop it!", "Leave it!" or even worse "Honey, do you know where the dog is?!" Because she's really sneaky and when she's quiet bad things happen. (This rule also applies to four year olds).
But Pollywog leads a good life. She's cuddled, hugged, kissed, fed, watered and even allowed to sleep in my wonderful bed on occasion.
Of course though, she obviously thinks that there could be some more improvements. That much is evident from the way she just lays around the house and whines pitifully for no reason. So, tonight's installment is Complaints From the Dog!
But wait! You say. Last night you wrote about your two cats and there were only two complaints. What makes the dog more interesting?
Because my cats are snobby and prefer to spend the majority of their time outside trying to kill Cardinals, so I don't know much about their complaints. But I did forget one, so there's now officially 3. I'll edit that later.
Anyway, to answer your question: Polly is a dog. That automatically makes her more interesting.
I'm a dog person, can't you tell?
Complaints From Dog
1. They won't let me on the sofa. They keep telling me "Off!" I need to work on training my humans better.
2. They don't see the trash can as a never-ending buffet, like I do.
3. I hate my stupid crate.
4. I want to play with the kitties, but they don't want to play with me and now I have to get more band-aids.
5. They take me outside in the rain and the snow to go to the bathroom. They go to the bathroom inside and I don't complain, but I go inside and they get all upset at me.
6. Blankets, shoes, leashes, harnesses and gearshifts are yummy. They won't let me eat them.
7. I like cat food better. And table scraps.
8. The tiny human doesn't drop nearly as much food as I want.
9. If they didn't want me to chew on the toys at the Petsmart, they wouldn't have them at optimum chewing level.
10. The couch is SO much more comfortable than the floor. Why do they keep telling me to get off?!
11. I shook the stuffing out of that shark to make sure it was dead. Why is the tiny human crying?
And the list goes on and on and on.
Sigh.
Silly animals.
6. Blankets, shoes, leashes, harnesses and gearshifts are yummy. They won't let me eat them.
7. I like cat food better. And table scraps.
8. The tiny human doesn't drop nearly as much food as I want.
9. If they didn't want me to chew on the toys at the Petsmart, they wouldn't have them at optimum chewing level.
10. The couch is SO much more comfortable than the floor. Why do they keep telling me to get off?!
11. I shook the stuffing out of that shark to make sure it was dead. Why is the tiny human crying?
And the list goes on and on and on.
Sigh.
Silly animals.
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