2012 in Review

The year 2012 is almost over, and good riddance.

This year started off on a bad note. Today, one year ago, was the last time I saw my aunt in person before she got put into a coma. I talked to her on New Year's, and my last words to her were 'I'll call you later.' When I tried to call back, she had gone into distress and they had put her into a medical coma.

I'm not expecting the next week to be easy. I'm going through a lot of emotions. Husband is too. But I'm doing like I usually do and try to be strong for everyone. For example, I have to take Little Miss and Husband to the doctor today. Little Miss has a cough that won't go away and I suspect Husband has the flu. For once, I'm the healthy one, having just gotten over a sinus infection.

My house got broken into this year, and while it sucked, they didn't take anything that can't be replaced. And I got a job for the first time since 2010 as well, but when Husband (finally) got hired, our schedule's conflicted too much and I ended up leaving my job to stay at home with Little Miss. Not that I minded so much. Working nights and taking care of a four year old were a bit more than I could handle, especially since we couldn't really afford daycare.

My grandmother got sick and ended up having to be put into a nursing home, where she will more than likely be for the rest of her life. This kills her, I know. She's 97 and such an independent woman. She hates being at the nursing home, but she knows it's for the best.

There have been so many more things I could bitch about that happened this year, but one big thing that is a good positive - Husband finally got his job. He loves his job, enjoys working and providing for us and I'm glad he does. Not because I don't like working, but because I know he wasn't happy sitting at home doing nothing all day. We've also decided that I can go back and get my CNA license and possibly go back to work when Little Miss starts school, though I'm still undecided on if that's what I really want to do yet or not.  I suppose we'll just see what happens. After all, she doesn't start school until August anyway.

God, she'll be five. Five! She's getting so big...I told Husband that I'll probably mope around all day the first day of school. He laughed.

Here's to hoping 2013 has more good than bad. Hope everyone else has a Happy New Year.

Preppers? Not really.

I have learned that I hate being of the people who scramble around stores at the last minute whenever they're calling for a storm or bad weather, throwing things into the grocery cart and wondering if I really have everything I need.

For example, when Superstorm Sandy was on her way, my Grandmama (Hubby's Grandmother) INSISTED that we were going to get slammed by the storm. Even though we were in Central Virginia. She decided she needed to go to the grocery store RIGHT THEN and needed Husband and I to take her. That was a hellish experience, let me tell you. She was basically grabbing things and putting them into the cart because she was sure the power was going to go out for at least a couple of days and she needed lanterns and a camp stove and all the canned goods she could manage. She even thought that since Husband and I live in the middle of nowhere in the mountains, that when our power was out it would get too cold for Little Miss (which it more than likely would) and convinced us to let Little Miss wait the storm out with her.

Watching all of those people scramble around and freaking out because all the lanterns were gone made me think - wow, I'm totally one of these people. In the event of a disaster, I am completely unprepared. My whole family is. We have no stockpiles of anything, no emergency kits of any sort, no plans or anything. And I think that needs to change.

Do I plan on being a "doomsday prepper" or whatever. But I do believe in being prepared for natural disasters or anything else that comes our way. And with the 2013 looming ever closer, I feel like a good resolution would be to prepare for anything that may happen and to become more self-sustainable.

I'd like to at least have the 72-hour Emergency Kit that's recommended by FEMA (though I know how well FEMA works, more often than not), an emergency kit for the car and an emergency kit for both cats and for Polly to start off with.

I'd also like to get some chickens, with the prices of everything going up, I think it would be a good idea. And healthier, seeing as the eggs would be organic and the chickens wouldn't be pumped full of chemicals. I'm also considering getting some dairy goats and a couple of pigs, for butchering purposes.

I just wish that my yard was good for growing something - it's mostly rock underneath the topsoil. It'd be useful to be able to grow something eventually. Though, I'd like to move to home with more land so all of this would be possible, so right now the goats and pigs and chickens are long term goals. The chickens may be more of a realistic goal while we live in this house, but first I need to learn how to take proper care of chickens. I don't want them dying on me five days in.

I have an awesome husband!

Guess what I have? Go on, guess!

A new iPad! Or rather, a new to me iPad. It's pretty awesome, though I need to leave the App store alone!

On a more serious note, I'd like to mention a blog that I've begun reading recently. It's called Rockstar Ronan and it's written by a mom who lost her son to neuroblastoma, a form of childhood cancer.

Cancer is terrible, especially in children who have done nothing wrong to anyone. The statistics and numbers that she posts regarding childhood cancer are heartbreaking. I seriously have been bawling my eyes out  reading her blog. Her little boy was so beautiful and fiery, which reminds me of my Little Miss so.

The mother of Ronan and writer of the blog, Maya Thompson, started the Ronan Thompson Foundation in honor of her son. It's an awesome cause and you should go check it out!

Polly is now officially ours. The home visit passed with flying colors and I went and picked her up yesterday afternoon, after it was all over. She's such a sweet puppy. She never barks, (though husband heard an almost bark while she was dreaming), loves to give kisses and cuddles. Husband is sleeping with her on the sofa and she's already spoiled. She won't go to sleep without her head on a pillow.

The cats aren't happy though. They won't let her into the kitchen. It's kind of like West Side Story at my house right now. I had them separated for a while, but Husband came home and said that they have to get used to each other eventually and intermingled them.

At least I put a screen door between them. Those cats are just dying to tear into my poor little curious puppy.

Little Miss doesn't know we brought her home, she's going to be so excited tomorrow when she gets home from Grandmama's! And Sunday, I'm thinking we do a family outing, together. Somewhere that allows dogs so that both Polly and the Kitty Boys can get some rest away from each other.

Reality vs. Fiction

It seems as if everyone are holding their relationships to extreme ideals.

I want a love like Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy.
I want a love like Bella and Edward.
I want to be like Ana and Christian. 

(Even though the last two seem to be more abusive than romantic).

They read books or watch movies and are immediately like "Oh my God, their relationship is perfect/wonderful/whatever" and from then on begin to hold out for such unrealistic standards in their partners/potential partners and then wonder why they're lonely.

Why can't people be realistic?

Now I admit, when I was younger, I was like that. But as I've grown up, I've realized. I don't want anyone that resembles any fictional character that everyone else has heard of. I want someone who is unique to me. Who deals with the fact that I whine when I'm tired or sick, who snores so loud and hogs the bed to the point where we argue about it even though we both realize that we can't sleep without knowing the other is there. Someone who can eat his weight in pizza but refuses to touch burgers, who hates horror movies and musicals, but will watch them anyway, and I do the same for him.

In other words, after being with my husband, going through our difficult times together and still coming out on top, I want him, and no one else.

I feel happy to say there is literally no one I would rather be with than him.

Bring Me a Bowl of Raw Hamburga.

The Little One is at Grandmama's and I am getting all horror movie'd up in here! Woohoo!

Halloween is the best holiday ever. Not that it needs to be Halloween to watch horror movies, but it is when all the fun stuff comes to stores and on TV and stuff. Not that we have TV here, but one can dream, can't they?!?!

On another good note, today is the day where the worker comes to check out the house before we bring home the newest member of the family! I informed her that my house is messier than normal, because we hadn't been home for four weeks. She shrugged and said that she didn't care.

I'm waiting on her phone call saying she'll be here in a few minutes. I'm hoping that after she says it's ok, that I'll be able to bring Polly home today.

By the way folks, Polly is a dog. The sweetest most adorable dog ever, that I've fallen in love with at the local animal shelter. She's a mutt, but she's an ADORABLE MUTT.

The pictures from the website don't work. Blah. But I'll take plenty of pictures and put them up here.

AHA! Nevermind, I found a picture!

See? Isn't she adorable?!

Cross your fingers and wish me luck!

Wish Me Luck!

Hopefully within the next few months, I will be able to sell things from my home. Husband and I have been talking about it and we both think that it'll be a fun venture, at least. Plus, it'll be nice to have someone to remain at home with Little Miss. We're planning on starting off by getting a tent at the local farmer's market and maybe online.

Fingers crossed! Let's hope this works out!

These past few weeks have been a whirlwind.

Husband finally got a job, which is awesome. He had to go for training for four weeks though, and Little Miss and I went with him for three of them. Unfortunately, I ended up with a terrible ear infection and didn't go the last week, but I surprised him for one night before returning to my parents house.

Either way, now he's home. Still not done training, but home. My ear infection is getting better, slowly. It still sucks though. As does Little Miss' cold. She sounds so adorable with a stuffy nose, but you could tell that she wasn't feeling well. Not that she let that stop her from doing anything though!

The only things that aren't settling down are 1) my nerves - our house was broken into last month. I'm irritated that the people took our things, but at the same time, I'm nervous to be at home by myself. Silly, no? (My in-laws seem to think so).

2) Doctor's appointments. After countless blood tests, biopsies and exams, I have been diagnosed with hypothyroidism and PCOS. Right now, they have me on hormone pills and they suck. I'm so moody (i.e. pissed off) when I take them. I almost nearly ripped my poor husband's head off, though he told me that he understood, that the hormones were getting to me.

And then I proceeded to cry for ten minutes because I felt like a horrible person. Thank God that my prescription for those have run out and the doctor told me not to refill them yet.

Ugh, I have to be up in about 4 hours. Why am I still awake?

This has made my night!

So, my husband has been away for the past month training in Richmond. Normally, I would go with him, but this week I ended up at my parents house with the ear infection from hell. Seriously. It traveled from my right ear to my left ear and then down my face to the point where I couldn't open my jaw.

Little Miss was spoiled at the grandparent's house and I was babied. It felt nice.

But alas, today was his last day of training in Richmond and since my ear is still sucky and I couldn't go to Busch Gardens for the first night of Howl-O-Scream (husband's orders), it is back to grown up land.

Which means work.

However, I have found something that is totally AWESOME. Also, I'm not convinced that my husband didn't do this while he was all alone in Richmond.

Deadpool is officially my new hero.

To the Families and Friends in Aurora, Colorado.

My thoughts and prayers go out to the victims and their families of the Batman shooting in Aurora, Colorado. It was truly a tragedy.

Why the Swimming Hole is a Dangerous Place

So, out in the middle of Nelson County, around the corner from my house, is a swimming hole. It used to be part of the Soapstone Quarry, and it apparently is the hang out spot for all the young kids.

Me, being a Cancer and a lover of water, finally decided to go explore it Saturday, after living near it for two years, with my brother-in-law. Husband decided to stay home and Little Miss was in bed already.

First off, you have to walk through bushes taller than you are to get to it, then manage to balance yourself as you walk across a two by four, then get through ALL the broken glass. Then, voila! Water.

Brother-in-law made the mistake of just sliding off the side of the bank in the water, thinking that the water would MAYBE come up to his waist. He was sorely mistaken, because he sunk like a rock.

It was here I learned that BIL wasn't exactly what you would call a good swimmer. But thankfully, he surfaced, then proceeded to dog paddle all over the place. I ended up lounging on a little edge that was submerged under water and watching him to make sure that he didn't drown.

I may also have been trying to fall asleep, since due to the storms that knocked out pretty much everyone in Virginia's power, I had just gotten power back that day. And I didn't have a day off at all last week because I was staying at the hotel, so I ended up picking up shifts that no one wanted.

Granted, I appreciate the overtime, but I was (and still am) beat.

BIL was done swimming pretty quickly and I got up and went back to the house, but not before realizing that I had mosquito bites the size of golf balls on my back and arms. Those mosquitos out there are freaking evil.

So, unless you actually WANT to catch malaria, the swimming hole in Schuyler is actually pretty freaking dangerous.

Stupid mosquitos.

So, remember the last post where I said that I was dangerously close to falling asleep?

Well, then we had someone try to rob the place. No shit. And it's taken me almost two weeks to mention it.

We had a person come in here while I was making coffee - hood up, face obscured, the whole nine yards. And what was my first reaction when I saw them in the lobby. To shout "Good morning!" at the top of my lungs as they were running out the door. I wasn't expecting them to answer back. And I definitely wasn't expecting their voice to sound familiar. Or that their car was familiar as well.

Night auditing makes me nervous now. This whole job is starting to make me nervous. I'd gone without panic attacks for a while, and now I'm having them all the time again. Therapy's ok, but I don't know if I'm going to continue going. It makes me think about things I don't want to. Like whether or not I'm happy, if I love my husband, and all that jazz.

Do you want to know the truth?

A lot of the time, I think I am absolutely miserable, I just can't stand to tell anyone. I feel like I have to build everything up to be so nice, but on the inside, I hate myself. I can't stand to be around everyone all the time. I am miserable, there's no better way to put it.

I've been put down my whole life. I used to wake up every morning to hear that my family was pissed off because I was still alive. I vividly remember being whipped with a dog leash (the metal end) by my sister, while my mom sat there on the computer. When I grabbed the leash out of her hand, my mom yelled at me for taking something away from my sister and grounded me.

I was always called fat or ugly or just being told that I was hated just for being around. My parents listened to everything and just shrugged it off, or joined in, if they felt like it. I was called a whore because I saw my boyfriend once a week, while my sister snuck off to her boyfriend's house every morning. When my mom found out about it, she was okay with it. And when I told her that my sister was pregnant, she slapped me across the face and told me to stop being such a fucking liar.

My sister announced her pregnancy a week later. It's been five fucking years and I have yet to receive an apology.

When I got into a car accident, my mother told my father that my friend, Richard, had pushed me into the street. My Dad tried to assault Richard for that. To this day, my parents and my best friend hate each other. I actually ended up moving in with Richard and his mother because of the way my family treated me.

And then I married my husband. Not only do I have to deal with a lot of shit from my family, but his family can be absolutely insane. Sometimes it's all I can do not to scream.

I mean, I love my in-laws (they're growing on me), my husband (even though sometimes I'm totally like 'what the fuck is wrong with you?') and the relationship between my parents and myself has improved leaps and bounds (the relationship between my sister and I is nonexistent).

But I'm still holding myself back from everyone because I don't want to be disregarded or fucked over or whatever.

Hopefully things will change for the better soon.

EDIT 6/24/2012:

So, things are getting better, slowly but surely. Someone bought the house we were going to buy, unfortunately, but that's ok, because we found another house that's bigger and it's right between his parents and my parents, instead of right up the street.

When one door closes, or something like that.

I'm not as nervous to work night audit, though we had a drunk driver come in here and wreck two church vans that were in the parking lot. No one was hurt, but it was definitely not fun to deal with.

But Husband's doing well, Little Miss is doing well, and he might be getting his job sooner than we thought, which is awesome.

I'm happier, though I've stopped therapy, and it shows, which makes me even more glad about things.

Now, if only I could go spend some quality time at the beach...

Why I'm Afraid to Work Night Audit Tomorrow

So far, it seems that every couple of weeks while I'm working night audit, something happens.

A month ago, we had someone come in and try to rob the place. A couple weeks ago, we had a drunk driver tear through the parking lot and take out two church vans that belonged to a choir who was staying here for the night.

And now, it seems, that everything electrical is going wrong. We even had a hairdryer catch on fire. All I can think it "Oh God, the hotel's going to catch on fire tomorrow night, isn't it?"

So, if I stop posting indefinitely, the hotel probably caught on fire and I don't have internet anymore because I lost my job due to lack of location.

Adventures in Night Auditing: Part 2

So, I think I may be in actual danger of falling asleep tonight. Which probably isn't the best thing ever, because falling asleep on the job gets you fired.

And falling asleep while driving gets you killed. Either way, I lose.

Tomorrow, I will sleep all day. And people are just going to have to get over that fact.

I have learned...

That I am apparently very angry, unhappy and depressed.

I went to my appointment with the therapist today (didn't do any art though, sadly). Talked for a whole hour and apparently the only emotion I showed was anger. I apparently act like I'm numb to everything else and feel as if I don't deserve peace.

I calmly explained that I don't have time for peace because I'm so busy worrying about everyone else. And I was kind of upset because I expected to color this time.

She wants me to go back on the anti-depressants that cost $130 and I informed her that I do not have $130 to spend and my health insurance is puny and even with it I still can't afford it. Husband and I are holding out until he gets his new job, in which he gets Federal health benefits to even think about trying to get back on the pills.

I should probably get back on the anti-anxiety pills although they make me a little loopy and probably wouldn't be conducive to a work environment in which I have to be professional. You know, and not shout 'For Narnia!' at random intervals while holding a stick.

I just realized I should probably move my car. Eventually.

The only hope I have right now is that one day, SOON, we will move. Away from the middle of nowhere and my drunk-ass neighbor who thinks it's funny to scream the N-word at my family and get into domestic violence disputes with his woman, who he's cheating on, in MY yard.

He's going to be in for quite a surprise when I send him a bill with the estimate of what it's going to cost to fix everything of mine that he's fucked up.

One Step Forward

I started going to therapy in December. And by started, I mean that I had one appointment. I was going to set up another one, truly, but things spiraled downward and I never did.

Little Miss' therapist brought it up each time I saw her, and I always said I'd make the appointment and all the jazz, but I never did. It's not like I didn't like the therapist I saw, she's really nice. And it's not like I didn't like the method of therapy, which was art therapy, which I found interesting even though there's not an artistic bone in my body. I just never went and made the appointment.

However, tonight, as I sit in the office of the hotel bored out of my skull and halfway making breakfast for everyone, I just went ahead and e-mailed her, asking to set up an appointment.

I figured I need it. I cry at the drop of a hat nowadays, and I never filled my prescription for antidepressants, mostly because they were too expensive. But now I have a job, so who knows? I'll probably be asked to take them again, even though they tend to make me sleepy and irritated and sick.

So here's to hoping she's actually willing to meet with me again, and that it works out well. I hope it does actually. I have no idea what kind of art she's going to ask me to try in the next appointment, but I hope it has something to do with macaroni noodles.

When things start...

We've all heard the expression that goes on about bad things snowballing into more bad things. The whole 'when it rains, it pours' adage that everyone refers to. I guess it works for good things too.

1. I get a job, a nice, laid-back, flexible job. I enjoy working. I also enjoy the time off I get to spend time with my family.

2. Husband took the test he needed to take in order to get a job that he's trying to get. And he passed! Onto the next step.

In fact, in the past couple of weeks, things have gone really well for the most part. Which is awesome. Except for the fact that I'm waiting for when the ball drops.

I guess tonight was that night. My Dad had a heart attack. And I'm scared to death.

Dad is still stubborn, I found out. He was complaining about how he wanted to go home and that it was no big deal. He sent my mom home and everything and then called to tell her he was staying over night. Mom called me to let me know, and I'm dying to go down there.

Unfortunately, there is no one else available to work the night shift, so I can't drop everything and go down there.

Husband is going on about how my father is old, and these things can happen. But he's fine, so I need to stop worrying. I have my reasons about worrying.

On January 6, 2012, a woman who was pretty much my second mother died after having open heart surgery. She had been having heart complications since September of 2010, and was just getting worse. She was also on dialysis and was a diabetic. She was Little Miss' best friend, and my favorite aunt. She even took me in when I had no where else to go, despite how messed up my past had made me and the fact that we could argue like cats and dogs. And now she's gone.

She'll never call me to ask her to take her to Wal-Mart. We'll never go out to eat at Guadalajara or Cheeseburger in Paradise. She'll never teach Little Miss new songs and take naps with her in the afternoon or a million other little things that I took for granted while she was here.

I'm still reeling from her death. I find myself crying randomly, and getting snippy with some people. Am I depressed? More than likely.

I feel selfish that I don't want my father to die because I don't want to have to go through this situation all over again. I probably am selfish in thinking that I don't know if I could handle it.

Am I terrible for thinking this? Am I selfish? A horrible daughter?

Who knows.

Adventures in Night Auditing #1

So, as of right now, I am doing my first shift as a night auditor at the hotel I work at. My shiny new job as it were.

This is actually my first shift here alone, so I understand if my manager is nervous. Especially since I'm all loopy because I fell down the stairs this morning and broke my fall with my head. Slammed it into the wall at the bottom of the stairs, actually. Thought I'd broken my leg too but it was just wedged at a weird angle. I can walk on it but it still hurts like hell. So does my left shoulder, my neck, my back, and about every single bone in my body.

I should probably go to a doctor sometime in the near future.

Anyway, I work from 11 pm to 7 am tonight. So this is going to be awesome.

11:30 - Manager calls. Tells me that the night shift is quiet, no one is going to call/be loud/cause problems. Tells me that the breakfast lady will be there at 4:30, he'll be there at 7, and to call him if I need him. Also makes crack about calling him if the cops show up, but reassures me that the police will not show up.

11:45 - Group decides to sit in the lobby, drink beers and do shots of Tanqueray. Demand popcorn, which I dutifully make. I spot a sheltie, which I must pet and coo over while the owners stand there and talk proudly of their dog.

12:00 - Member of Tanqueray group decides to ask me where the nearest zoo and strip club is. Is disappointed when I inform him that Charlottesville has neither.

12:20 - The cops show up.

1:10 - Run reports. Check people out. Wonder why in the hell the computer is messing up on me now at 1:10 in the morning.

1:30 - Fix computer and manage to check the two people out who had been waiting since 1:10 to check out. The now absolutely hammered group in the lobby finally go upstairs.

1:40 - I am convinced there is a ghost in the exercise room, so I keep watching it on the security camera.

3:00 - The ghost has moved into the lobby. Serves me right for being all paranoid after watching yet another Exorcism documentary.

3:55 - Officially bored out of my mind. I've eaten two bags of popcorn, a velveeta easy mac thing, and sipping on apple and cinnamon tea. I've also channel surfed the tv in the lobby, watched an hour of Mrs. Doubtfire and am now going to go make coffee.

4:00 - Diane comes in to teach me how to make breakfast. I end up covering myself in waffle mix.

5:30 - Apple and cinnamon tea does not taste good cold. Ghost in the exercise room remains a mystery.

Now I guess since people are getting up, I should sign off of here. Until tomorrow.

Hi ho, hi ho

So, remember that job interview I posted about a couple weeks ago? The one that went really well?

Well, yesterday was my first day at work. I am so unbelievably stoked to be back in the work force that I can't stand it. Husband got laid off back in October and we've been scrounging to get by. But now I finally have a job so hopefully some stress will be lifted off of our shoulders.

Also, we were starting to get a little testy with each other. We were with each other all day, every day and we found out little tiny things that get on the other's nerves. Also, cabin fever is real. I felt like Jack Torrance from the Shining.

I work again today 11 am - 7 pm. It's my first eight hour shift ever and I can't wait. It's an easy job, really. I work the front desk at a hotel. Behind one of my favorite restaurants ever.

I totally know where I'm going to eat lunch every day.

And random note: I'm watching Earth 2 on Netflix and those alien people have weird hands. Like what the hell is on their fingers? Seriously.

Why hello, Netflix. Nice of you to stop by again.

As the title implies, my family have Netflix. Both instant streaming and DVD. We actually canceled our satellite service because we just watch Netflix all the time so why not just get rid of the satellite which is costing us money.

Or this was my husband's reasoning, anyway.

Well, around Christmas time we received this movie because, well, I wanted it. I wanted to watch  'Nestor the Long-Eared Christmas Donkey' if it was the last thing I did. And since I spend more time adding things to the queue then my husband does, I usually get to pick what's coming next.

Anyway, we sent back dear Nestor, and waiting for the next DVD in the queue, which happened to be the miniseries version of 'The Shining' (which actually follows the book, though Stanley Kubrick's version was all sorts of whack-a-doodle fun) and I stoked for it. Husband, not so much, because he doesn't like horror movies. He likes movies like 'Crank' and 'Ninja Assassin'. I like movies where people are either kissing or people are getting hacked to bits.

Side Note: When Husband worked, he would call home and ask what I was watching/playing on the PS3. If I was watching something dull or romantic (his words, not mine), he'd be home shortly. If I was playing Dante's Inferno (which I am always playing) or watching something gory, he'd take his dear sweet time coming home because that usually meant I'd had a rough day.

He could also tell just how rough my day had been by asking me which circle of Hell I was in while playing Dante's Inferno. Anything above greed was a fair warning that I might be grouchy when he came home.

ANYWAYS.

Days passed and I waited for 'The Shining' to show up so I could watch it and drink my alcoholic beverage of choice, which I bought from the liquor store back on my birthday called 'RedRum'.

Actually, this is really delicious by itself, but super delicious when 

mixed with Dr. Pepper.

Unfortunately, it didn't show up. And the queue was full and while I wanted to watch more movies I couldn't because the damn queue was full.

So I finally had enough. I contacted Netflix. They apparently never received 'Nestor the Long-Eared Christmas Donkey' and just figured that I never sent it back. But they felt bad that I'd waited so long for the 'The Shining' that they'd send it out at their earliest convenience.

Which happened to be today. I squealed like a little girl at the mailbox.

I plan on watching this tonight, whether Husband likes it or not.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Erin Go Bragh! Happy St. Patrick's Day everyone.

Today's the day where the Irish (like myself) and the non-Irish alike get together and celebrate St. Patrick running the snakes out of Ireland. And how do we celebrate?

By physically assaulting those who don't wear green through pinching and bringing people one step closer to liver failure by drinking as much as humanly possible. Woohoo!

Now unfortunately, I have never gotten drunk on St. Patrick's day (although tonight, this will change!) but I have been looking for ways for not only Husband and I to celebrate, but for Little Miss to celebrate too.

So I bring you a recipe from Parents.com for 'Luck O' the Irish' cookies! They're easy to make and yummy. You can see the recipe on my new page.

Hope everyone has a good St. Patrick's Day! Go watch the Boondock Saints or something!

Angry Birds, Jobs, and Ice Cream

I made a new friend yesterday.

There was this little boy at the playground in the mall. And let me tell you, I thought that I was addicted to Angry Birds. This little boy has played every version of the game to date.

And he railed me with questions regarding the game. Have I gotten this? Do I need to look out for the aliens in the space one? Have you seen the birds on the plane? How about in the cage? Of course, the majority of the time I had absolutely no clue what he was talking about, but it was still fun to talk to him until it was time for him to go. Husband was sitting next to me the whole time, watching Little Miss run around (she actually shared! Hooray!) while I chatted with the kid, laughing.

All in all, it was a good day though. Little Miss had her therapy session, in which she is doing wonderful, which is AWESOME. We were actually told that if she keeps the progress up, she may not need therapy anymore. Which is wonderful, compared to where she was not even two months ago.

Also had a job interview, which also went awesome. Then a preliminary job screening, which was pretty fun, although they had some kinda strobe light thing going on in the store and it kept blinding me. Then another job screening, in which Little Miss came with me and sat grumpily in a chair while I talked to the lady at the front desk. It took me all of two minutes, but Little Miss acted like she was never going to make it out of the building alive.

Husband relived his childhood. They're having a monster truck rally something or other in town this weekend, and they had two of the trucks on display: Monster Mutt and Gravedigger (his favorite). He got autographed pictures of the trucks by the drivers and took pictures of Little Miss, a giant hot sauce packet, and myself with the trucks.

 Little Miss and I with Monster Mutt

Little Miss, Taco Bell Hot Sauce, Gravedigger, and myself.

Then we all went to McDonald's, had dinner and got ice cream as a treat. Little Miss and Husband shared a Shamrock Shake. And by shared, I mean that Little Miss eventually just took over.

But while Husband mourned the loss of his shake, I sat content in my own ice cream cone. And I would be damned if my cone went the same way as his shake.

I was also looking into the sun when this picture was taken.

I then promptly passed out at a friend's house before finally coming home.

Unfortunately I came home to the news that my 96 year old grandmother is in the hospital. It's minor, and she's expected to be released soon, but it's worrisome nonetheless. I plan on visiting her tomorrow, since I tried to today and she wasn't home. Obviously, it was because she was in the hospital, but I was not informed until about 10:00 pm.

I hope everyone else had a wonderful day.

New changes to the blog coming, among other things.

I've to the conclusion that this blog needs a lot more than just me rambling. Because once I get started I just can't seem to stop, and that causes everything to turn into one long-winded blog post that no one wants to read. 

So, I'm going to start adding different little sections here and there, and fill them with recipes and craft ideas and other random things. Hopefully that will make things more interesting around here. 

Of course, I'll probably still write my incredibly long winded posts, but at least you will be able to click on another part of the blog and read something that you might be much more interested in. 

Also, Grandmama has introduced me to Angry Birds. She got a Kindle Fire (for Valentine's Day, and I'm extremely jealous) and it came with Angry Birds on it (I think). I mentioned it and she pulled it out and told me to try it. 

Dear God, it is simple but it is fun. I ended up coming home and downloading the Angry Birds game on Facebook. And if Husband leaves his iPod Touch around me for too much longer I'm going to see if it's on that. Because I get bored really easily.

Little Miss likes to watch me play it. In fact, she demands that she gets to pull up a chair and watch. This of course, is real cute and sweet, but she doesn't stop jumping up or talking so I get distracted and then the little evil pigs win. Then I have to bite my lips to resist swearing at the computer screen in front of the three and a half year old, and she starts yelling "come on, really?!" at the screen, which is kind of cute. 

But in the back of my mind I think that when she's older, I'm going to wait until she starts playing video games. And when she gets really into it and is in the middle of something important, I'm going to run screaming through the room and jump in front of the TV/Computer screen. 

Revenge will be sweet, kiddo.

So, today we went back to look at the house we want to buy, and I fell in love all over again. Husband did too, though he was probably especially happy to get his Sierra Mist back, since he left it there last time. And Father-In-Law came and saw it, along with Mother-In-Law, Brother-In-Law and Velvet, the crazy chocolate lab puppy. Little Miss was sad to leave because she wants to move in right now.

That might be because she'll be living right up the street from her Granny (Mother-In-Law) which is her favorite place in the whole world, apparently.

We even drove through the town nearby. I've been through there before, but now that I'm probably going to be living there, I paid special attention toward everything. Not only are there chain stores, there's small Mom-and-Pop stores that have been around for decades that are still going strong. And personally, I'll go to one of those stores before going to a chain any day of the week.

The elementary school where Little Miss would be going is damaged though. The East Coast earthquake really tore it up (though it needed to be remodeled anyway. It was about 20 minutes away from the epicenter.). So instead of going to school fifteen minutes away, she'll be going to one about 30-45 minutes away. It's still better than where we are now, where the closest elementary school in our district is about an hour away. Mother-In-Law and Grandmama are worried about us and the bus stop, but we're right there at the bus stop, so I highly doubt there would be any trouble. And Little Miss has been super excited for months at the prospect of riding a school bus, so hopefully that will go smoothly too. Especially when she realizes that Husband and I can't ride the school bus with her.

I feel slightly ridiculous, obsessing over this house, but I feel like this house is the one. I wouldn't mind living there for years, instead of the house we live in now. It's in a quiet, nice neighborhood, and no one speeds down the road like they do in front of the house we have now. I have my reasons for wanting a house that I can turn into a home of my own, but that's a discussion for another post, since that story is kind of long anyway.

But there's nothing that anyone can do right now about it, not until the offer on our house goes through and the offer on the house we want goes through. So it's the waiting game.

Pity I'm not a real patient person.

This is interesting.

So, I'm trying out the new Blogger interface thing that they kept telling me to try at the top of the screen. And it's interesting. I kind of like it, actually.

There's more options for stuff. That's nice. I am a weirdo who clicks on just about everything so it's fun having new things to click on. But other than that, well...it's ok.

I mean, I like it, but I'm not all OH MY GOD THIS IS AMAZING over it.

*shrug*

At least my blog looks different now. More pop and all that. My husband has disappeared so while he's off playing video games across the street at 2:14 in the morning, I'm once again, messing around with my blog.

Oh well. I'll just force him to read it later or something. Like, tomorrow evening, since we have a full day packed full of in-law things tomorrow. Woohoo!

Admitting you have a problem is the first step.

So, I think I'm addicted to Pinterest. Seriously, ya'll.

Also, it sounds like someone in my house is either screaming or whistling, which shouldn't be happening because it is 5:11 AM, so it's rather creepy.

But anyway, back to Pinterest.

It is one of the more fun things I've found on the internet. That's probably because I spend WAY too much time being bored out of my skull at home. So, I end up pinning things. Random things. Things that I will probably never do because I am so busy finding more things to do on Pinterest.

On the plus side, I've designed my dream home and garden, stuff for not only Little Miss but any future spawn that may come into our lives, and I've decided I want a West Highland Terrier (actually this was decided years ago, but Pinterest has only made my want for one greater). Hubby sees me on the site and laughs but he obviously does not take my addiction seriously.

So, I will admit it to you, dear world.

My name is Amanda and I have a Pinterest addiction.

I wonder if there will be cookies and coffee at the support group.

P.S. The creepy noise was the neighbor's roosters. I think.

Jumping for joy.

So, in the past few weeks, my husband and I have decided on something. We wanted to move houses. Now, this was for a variety of reasons.

1. The sheer lack of space in our home. Our house is so cluttered with things from my old house and Hubby's things that he never unpacked and the unrelenting flow of toys that people keep giving us that we honestly do not have room for anything.
2. We're out in the middle of nowhere. It's two hours away from my parents, his parents and an hour (at least) to get into town. The nearest grocery store is only 20 minutes away from here, which isn't so bad, but with gas getting as expensive as it is, it would be nice to live closer.
3. Our neighbor is freaking annoying. He's completely destroyed the yard. And he and his wife will get drunk and start yelling or blaring Lynard Skynard. Oh yeah, and his friends who will park in the middle of the street and lay on the horn at 3 a.m. Or just pull up our drive way and park in our yard instead.

And the list goes on and on.

We've gone out and searched for houses, and we came across one that we both really like. And don't have to worry about being close, because it's literally a 7 minute walk from that house to his parents house and only 45 minutes to my parents house. I loved it, Hubby loved it, Little Miss loved it, even Mother-In-Law and Brother-In-Law liked it. We just needed someone to buy our house first.

Well, today, I check my e-mail to find one from a person who's interested in buying our house. I pretty much ran through the house announcing that someone wanted to buy it. Hubby is excited too and told me to e-mail them back, which I did, of course.

Now we wait. I hope person follows through. I am ridiculously excited to move. 

So pardon me, I have to get back to designing and decorating the new house on Pinterest.

City of Heroes has struck again.

So, many years ago, I bought my then boyfriend a video game. He'd been drooling over this game ever since I met him, so I decided to be nice. I borrowed $60 dollars from my mother and bought him both the game and the expansion. Even I had to admit it looked neat.

But he wouldn't let me play City of Heroes. In fact, the couple of times I was allowed to play, he was hovering over me the whole time, telling me what to do. It was annoying. I actually went out and bought it myself three years ago, but was unable to play it due to the fact that I was broke and could not afford to spend $15 a month on a computer game while I needed more important things. Like gas in my car and Mexican food.

So tonight in my random internet wanderings, I stumbled across the game. And lo and behold, it's now free to play. Or well, it's mostly free to play. If I upgrade to VIP, I have to pay, but that's besides the point. I can now play it for FREE. And since it's free, my husband has no problem with it. At least, not yet. I mean, I am using his computer, so I'm sure it will cause problems eventually, say....when he wants to use his computer. But right now he's playing God of War III so I don't have to worry about that.

I'm so pumped to play this game. I fixed myself dinner, sat down in my nice comfy chair, and what do I remember? That this game takes FOREVER to load. So, while my husband gets to play God of War III, I get to sit here and stare at the computer and figure out what I'm going to do for the next two hours while this game loads.

But when it loads, it is so totally on.

In which I slept for the majority of the day.

What did I do today?

Honestly, nothing. The husband made breakfast (which was yummy) and took care of Little Miss, while I slept.

Then Little Miss crashed for a nap, and we also went upstairs, in which I went back to sleep.

When I finally woke up, I made a little dinner for Little Miss, watched a little TV with her, and then she ended up going to bed shortly thereafter. Husband made turkey burgers and I binge watched 'Weeds', 'Scrubs' and now we're on 'Firefly' (a couple episodes each).

So, nothing too interesting to report today. Not much done today on the cleaning front either, but yesterday - damn, we made this house look good. And Little Miss got her new bed to boot!

Hooray for lazy days.

New Year Clean-Out Begins!

So, now that the New Year is underway (and has been for some time now) I have been feeling the urge. An urge that is slowly eating away at everything I do until I can only think of it, and it alone. What is this, you might ask (Or don't, it's your choice)? 


The New Year clean out!  From Laundry to (ack!) dishes, I have to clean it all. While my husband is overjoyed that I have this overwhelming desire to clean the house, he says this is me just getting the jump on Spring Cleaning. To which I informed him means that I can relax in March when everyone else is waking up from their various hibernating states and cleaning out their homes. Instead, I will just have to do some light cleaning, rather than the deep clean that I've decided absolutely MUST be done. The same goes with redecorating. My house is in some serious need of it.


So yesterday, it started. Albeit it was a small step, but a step in the right direction nevertheless. We put up a shoe rack. While this may be nothing to some people, for us, it's huge. Our shoes were originally just placed by the door, which resulted in an overflowing pile of shoes. And seeing as Little Miss has several pairs...it was easy to lose pairs. Like my favorite pair of heels. So now, we have hung a shoe rack hanging on the back of the door that separates the living room from the hallway. Hooray.


The living room also got picked up. It's not spotless, but it's still pretty sweet. With all of our comings and goings lately, we just ended up leaving things where they landed. Now, this is no longer a problem! 


Today the kitchen is getting tackled. And Little Miss' room. She's actually moving out of her toddler bed and into a bunk bed, which is being delivered later on this afternoon. I might trade her my bed for it. 


I've also decided that I need to be consistent on something and that thing is this. I'm going to write in my blog everyday for a year. I'm not writing about a specific topic either. The world is free game for me. I'm not doing this for pageviews or fame. I'm doing it for me. If those things end up resulting from it...well, that'd be awesome. 

Unrealistic Dreams are the Best Dreams

I always figured that I would be some kind of Super Mom when I had kids. When my mind wandered into 'Mommy Land' (which, at the time, I thought was REALLY far away), I imagined myself, smiling and happy and surrounded by my kids. I would enjoy cleaning the house and running the kids to their various practices and recitals and classes. I was going to love to spend my days cooking and always have a hot meal ready for my husband when he got home from work. 


My family was going to be the kind of family where we sent out annual Christmas newsletters, complete with pictures, to our friends and family. My kids and I would enjoy spending time with each other, going to museums and reading and travelling all over to various places that were both educational and fun. My husband and I would avoid the mistakes that my parents made and would be able to handle arguments with civility. Our wedding would've been beautiful and our honeymoon would take place in some place like Europe or some tropical isle. 


And now that I look back on that mindset that part of me still clings to a little bit, I realize that I must have been smoking crack. 


My wedding was small. Very small. My husband and I went to the courthouse in April 2011 and got our marriage license. Our wedding took place the same day, only not at the courthouse because the Justice of the Peace was on vacation. Instead we got married by a marriage celebrant at an apple shed outside of Lovingston, Virginia. The only attendants were my mom, my dad, their chihuahua, Lady, and some random guy that came into the store to buy a bushel of apples when we were saying our vows. Our cake was an ice-cream cake that we picked up at Wal-Mart on our way out to his parents house to tell them the news and to pick up a three year old. My husband and I were very happy to be married (and still are) but we're planning to have an actual ceremony in the future. 


As for me being the happy little housewife? Ha. 


I still can't cook much other than macaroni and cheese and other things that I can just throw in the microwave, though the hubby is slowly, painfully teaching me how. I think he's determined to turn me into some master chef (which I don't think is going to happen, sorry dear). Most of the times our little cooking classes end with me being banished to the living room and him doing most of the work. I also hate cleaning. I always have, so I have no idea why in my fantasy world I thought I would transform into a Susie Homemaker. Dishes are my mortal enemy and I am so short that I have to stand on a step stool to get clothes out of the washing machine. 


Oddly enough, one thing that I imagined regarding my relationship to my husband is actually true. We actually handle our arguments with civility. We don't raise our voices. We talk to each other (sometimes with a bit of an attitude, but we're not perfect) and if one of us starts getting too upset, we leave the room and come back to the situation with a cooler head. Though I admit, I snap a little bit more than he does. Especially when he decides to count all the gray hairs on my head (and pull them out) or he finds a pimple that apparently is absolutely BEGGING to be popped. 


But the real thing that threw me for a loop? The whole kid aspect. 


Little Miss (as the three year old shall now be affectionately known as) is absolutely terrifying. She has the ability to make me laugh, cry and pull my hair out in a matter of minutes. According to my mother, this is normal in most toddlers, but I think she must be superhuman. She can go from happy to a full out tantrum over the tiniest thing (this morning, it was over the fact that I said she should eat her cereal from the box, for God's sake after I already poured it for her in a bowl) in a matter of seconds. All of my very unrealistic ideas of child rearing went right out the window with her. She's stubborn as a mule and listens about as well as a brick. Trips to fun, educational places end with meltdowns and stares from other parents as my toddler screams about how she just HAS to go on the slide just ONE MORE TIME, even though we're now running late to dinner/meeting my husband somewhere/etc. because she kicked me in the face while I tried to convince her to put her shoes on


Don't get me wrong, please. I love her with all of my heart and soul. I love cuddling and spending time with her - as much time as I possibly can. But good Lord, what was I thinking when I imagined motherhood to be a breeze?!


I guess I'm wondering if I was the only one with highly naive imaginings of motherhood/wifehood (is wifehood even a word? Probably not). Deep down, I know I'm not, but part of me is convincing myself that I must have been delusional. 


Well, not must of.