That I am apparently very angry, unhappy and depressed.
I went to my appointment with the therapist today (didn't do any art though, sadly). Talked for a whole hour and apparently the only emotion I showed was anger. I apparently act like I'm numb to everything else and feel as if I don't deserve peace.
I calmly explained that I don't have time for peace because I'm so busy worrying about everyone else. And I was kind of upset because I expected to color this time.
She wants me to go back on the anti-depressants that cost $130 and I informed her that I do not have $130 to spend and my health insurance is puny and even with it I still can't afford it. Husband and I are holding out until he gets his new job, in which he gets Federal health benefits to even think about trying to get back on the pills.
I should probably get back on the anti-anxiety pills although they make me a little loopy and probably wouldn't be conducive to a work environment in which I have to be professional. You know, and not shout 'For Narnia!' at random intervals while holding a stick.
I just realized I should probably move my car. Eventually.
The only hope I have right now is that one day, SOON, we will move. Away from the middle of nowhere and my drunk-ass neighbor who thinks it's funny to scream the N-word at my family and get into domestic violence disputes with his woman, who he's cheating on, in MY yard.
He's going to be in for quite a surprise when I send him a bill with the estimate of what it's going to cost to fix everything of mine that he's fucked up.
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